Thanks to yours truly there's a new statue in that Shrjine Church! I'm pretty sure Jjertrude expects a bunch of sacrifices there so go and check out what's new. She said it was "really good" but she said it funny. Kinda like "goo'ed" but maybe that's a fancy new way of speaking. Who can tell.

Anyway, I did my part, now it's your turn to sacrifice some of your time!

- Bossmin

Thanks to yours truly there's a new statue in that Shrjine Church! I'm pretty sure Jjertrude expects a bunch of sacrifices there so go and check out what's new. She said it was "really good" but she said it funny. Kinda like "goo'ed" but maybe that's a fancy new way of speaking. Who can tell.

Anyway, I did my part, now it's your turn to sacrifice some of your time!

- Bossmin

It would appear the Mystic has opened some kind of new portal right in town and I don't think she even filed the appropriate permits! She's been calling it her ""Mysticverse"" and bragging that there are 100 brand spankin' new levels there so you know what that means, you've got some stonegrinding to do!

This could take a while, don't forget to pack a lunch!

- Bossmin

Our new-and-improved mobile app is here! With our upgraded interface and redesigned menu, ordering is easier and faster than ever. Find what you're craving in just a few taps!

Don't forget to order your favorites again and again with easy-to-access order history and securely stored account information.

Happy 4 years of grinding your way up Grindstone Mountain, stonegrinders!

I heard you like hats and whatnot, so as a treat I commissioned Harry and Dottie for some head-warming goodies and added some thread to your backpack! Beware: those hats may look appetizing but they ain't edible!

Thanks for your dedication to making Hjellhjole its best! NOW GET BACK TO IT!
Bossmin

Continued excavation and spelunking on Grindstone Mountain has uncovered 4 new uncharted caves! That’s 40 new levels for brave Stonegrinders to grind through!

Here’s your grinding orders:
Burning Bottoms can be found in the Volcanic Core
Sepsis Sanctorium is in the Grindstone Temples
Bologna Bunker is located in The Slaughterhouse
Retch Road is up in the Lost lair

And 4 new caves means 4 shiny pieces of gold gear!

Get that bling!
Bossmin

Cosmic Darkside has gone super nuts  & OK this time it's freaking me out so much I had to cc BossMom!

Yer To-Do list:
–Pulverise 50 new remixed levels worth of Creeps!
–Find the Lucky Suit blueprint ASAP!
–I heard what sounded like a Rainbow Bomb popping off! Could be useful!
–Get yer mitts on the Darkside Cleaver!
–And can we just finally beat the GOO SNOT out of Goo Jjary's nose already?

-Bossmin

P.S: Call your Moms!

There's good news & bad news! Bad news: The Cosmic Darkside has expanded so there's even more nightmarish Cosmic Creeps & Jerks for you to slay! The good news? More Darkside means MORE WORK! Now get to it! I don't pay you to read my memos!

P.S: There's some crazy new gear out there somewhere…

P.S: I also heard that Darkside Jjary has gone a bit nuts! Watch out!

P.S.S: That lil' Stonegrinder Jr. Harry opened up a Hat Stand, so at least that's nice!

Attention Stonegrinders: Greed Grind blockers have been fixed!

The Mystic's granted access to more of the Cosmic Darkside. Return to the Darkside to conquer 40 more levels, plus get blueprints for the Osmutational Arrow, Cosmic Mirrow Sword, and Lightning In A Bottle potion!

See you on the mountain!
Bossmin

Attention Stonegrinders: crashes have been fixed!

The Mystic's granted access to more of the Cosmic Darkside. Return to the Darkside to conquer 40 more levels, plus get blueprints for the Osmutational Arrow, Cosmic Mirrow Sword, and Lightning In A Bottle potion!

See you on the mountain!
Bossmin

Subject: More Cosmic Darkside!
The Mystic's granted access to more of the Cosmic Darkside. Return to the Darkside to conquer 40 more levels, plus get blueprints for the Osmutational Arrow, Cosmic Mirrow Sword, and Lightning In A Bottle potion!

See you on the mountain!
Bossmin

The Mystic went and summoned a meteor that opened a portal to the Cosmic Darkside: a difficult and nightmarish parallel dimension of Grindstone Mountain! Includes all new Cosmic Gear, as well as a new resource to mine (osmium) and new Creeps to slash (Cosmic Creeps).

So ... want to see what goes bump in the night?

- Bossmin

P.S. Cosmic Darkside is a New Game Plus mode, for all you intrepid stonegrinders!

The Mystic went and summoned a meteor that opened a portal to the Cosmic Darkside: a difficult and nightmarish parallel dimension of Grindstone Mountain! Includes all new Cosmic Gear, as well as a new resource to mine (osmium) and new Creeps to slash (Cosmic Creeps).

So ... want to see what goes bump in the night?

- Bossmin

P.S. Cosmic Darkside is a New Game Plus mode, for all you intrepid stonegrinders!

We've added more cosmetic hats and weekly challenges to the game. Check it all out at the hat room in Döttie's House!

What are ya waiting for? Go have fun! Now!

-Bossmin

The Carnival of creeps is back! Well it never left, but now it's even bigger! Carnival of Creeps has an additional 15 levels and a new blueprint for the Paint Potion! (And a bunch of bug fixes, including a free Gorgon Hat in Dottie's House Hat Room)

What are ya waiting for? Go have fun! Now!

-Bossmin

The Carnival of creeps is back! Well it never left, but now it's even bigger! Carnival of Creeps has an additional 15 levels and a new blueprint for the Paint Potion! (Plus some new bug fixes, including a fix for the order of hat icons in Dottie's House!)

What are ya waiting for? Go have fun! Now!

Subject: Carnival of Creeps has more acts
To: Stonegrinders
From: Bossmin

The Carnival of creeps is back! Well it never left, but now it's even bigger! Carnival of Creeps has an additional 15 levels and a new blueprint for the Paint Potion!

What are ya waiting for? Go have fun! Now!

-Bossmin

Subject: Carnival of Creeps has arrived
To: Stonegrinders
From: Bossmin

The carnival is in town! Specifically the Carnival of Creeps, a Creep-y carnival full of guts, glory, and, of course, prizes.

This doesn't count as a vacation, but you can pretend it does.

Get to work!
Bossmin

The holidays have come to Grindstone, and stonegrinders are getting in the festive spirit. This includes the Pine Tree Shield, a new additional cave called Bezoar Bungalow, and an all-new Gold Throwin' Bomb. Check out HjellHjole for some festive decorations, as well as an upgrade to the trusty Pickaxe.

Oh, and stonegrinders, beware of Krampus.

The holidays have come to Grindstone, and stonegrinders are getting in the festive spirit. This includes the Pine Tree Shield, a new additional cave called Bezoar Bungalow, and an all-new Gold Throwin' Bomb. Check out HjellHjole for some festive decorations, as well as an upgrade to the trusty Pickaxe. Oh yeah, we've just fixed a few bugs too!

Oh, and stonegrinders, beware of Krampus.

The holidays have come to Grindstone, and stonegrinders are getting in the festive spirit. This includes the Pine Tree Shield, a new additional cave called Bezoar Bungalow, and an all-new Gold Throwin' Bomb. Check out HjellHjole for some festive decorations, as well as an upgrade to the trusty Pickaxe.

Oh, and stonegrinders, beware of Krampus.

Jorja, the stonegrinder known as Mama Stonegrinder has come to help her grandson, Jorj, by slaying Creeps. Visit her at Döttie's House to see what she can do.

Jjertrude is also now offering a small reward for completing sacrificial runs in the Daily Grind!

There's also a new location available in the Creepy Crypts: Ivor's Boss Blitz!

See you on the Mountain, Jorja (and stonegrinders)!

Includes Daily Grind chest and rewards bug fixes, and other various fixes.

Jorja, the stonegrinder known as Mama Stonegrinder has come to help her grandson, Jorj, by slaying Creeps. Visit her at Döttie's House to see what she can do.

Jjertrude is also now offering a small reward for completing sacrificial runs in the Daily Grind!

There's also a new location available in the Creepy Crypts: Ivor's Boss Blitz!

See you on the Mountain, Jorja (and stonegrinders)!

Jorja, the stonegrinder known as Mama Stonegrinder has come to help her grandson, Jorj, by slaying Creeps. Visit her at Döttie's House to see what she can do.

Jjertrude is also now offering a small reward for completing sacrificial runs in the Daily Grind!

There's also a new location available in the Creepy Crypts: Ivor's Boss Blitz!

See you on the Mountain, Jorja (and stonegrinders)!

Döttie and Harry have something special in store for all you stonegrinders: weekly errands in exchange for homemade hats!

Jjary's hideout is also rumoured to be at the top of the Mountain. Ready to settle that score?

P.S. We also fixed more bugs!

To: Stonegrinders
From: Bossmin
Subject: Jjary's Lost Lair & Döttie's House

Döttie and Harry have something special in store for all you stonegrinders: weekly errands in exchange for homemade hats!

Jjary's hideout is also rumoured to be at the top of the Mountain. Ready to settle that score?

Get back on the Mountain!
Bossmin.

P.S. We also fixed a bunch of bugs!